This part of my site is targeted at physical pain, but of course, physical pain and emotional pain are two sides of the same coin. They are processed in many of the same parts of the brain so that it becomes impossible to disentangle them. Physical pain is associated with emotional pain; emotional pain is associated with physical pain.
When it dawns on us that our pain has been around for a while and everything we have done hasn't made it go away, we face the realization that our pain is probably here to stay. If that's happened to you, please know it's natural to feel hopeless and in despair sometimes. And you are in good company. Many of us feel like you do. Our lives will never be the same; so much has changed. During my physical chronic pain journey, starting when I suffered irreparable nerve damage from a botched surgery in 2012 which cascaded into other serious health issues, I have been there, many times.
The loss of my beloved son Chris during the pandemic was like a tsunami, on top of a tsunami, on top of a tsunami. But I've learned a few things about how to chip away at this monolith of pain because I've had to. Like a sculptor, I think pain strips away the masks that we feel we have to show the world. It's possible to get to the essence of who we really are, deep down when we suffer any type of pain. But management of our pain, a feeling that we have some control over it or the intensity of it, has to happen at least some of the time.
While I sometimes feel hopeless, despairing, even angry and sad about the way things have turned out, some of the time, I think it's made me a better person than I might have been. At least that's the way I try to look at it!
How has chronic pain impacted me, positively?
(A shout out that as of August 2024 my oncologist has officially declared that I am "No Evidence of Disease" with regard to my breast cancer, the closest she will get to saying it's in remission - I'll take it!)
Feel free to reach out to me directly at Judith.Foy@lmu.edu or JudyFoy2023@gmail.com
Book: When Pain Persists (by Judy Foy, coming soon)
When it dawns on us that our pain has been around for a while and everything we have done hasn't made it go away, we face the realization that our pain is probably here to stay. If that's happened to you, please know it's natural to feel hopeless and in despair sometimes. And you are in good company. Many of us feel like you do. Our lives will never be the same; so much has changed. During my physical chronic pain journey, starting when I suffered irreparable nerve damage from a botched surgery in 2012 which cascaded into other serious health issues, I have been there, many times.
The loss of my beloved son Chris during the pandemic was like a tsunami, on top of a tsunami, on top of a tsunami. But I've learned a few things about how to chip away at this monolith of pain because I've had to. Like a sculptor, I think pain strips away the masks that we feel we have to show the world. It's possible to get to the essence of who we really are, deep down when we suffer any type of pain. But management of our pain, a feeling that we have some control over it or the intensity of it, has to happen at least some of the time.
While I sometimes feel hopeless, despairing, even angry and sad about the way things have turned out, some of the time, I think it's made me a better person than I might have been. At least that's the way I try to look at it!
How has chronic pain impacted me, positively?
- I'm more compassionate when I see others who are suffering.
- Because I live in a slower world, I have the opportunity to notice more beautiful things around me.
- I have time to read books and articles and watch movies and documentaries. I try to consume mostly uplifting content. While I don't want to live in a bubble, I ration my time watching and reading the news.
- I have thought very intentionally about what matters most to me: (1) being with and there for the people whom I care about and treat me with loving care too. Everything I do centers on this. (2) Doing what I can to complete what I feel called to, to be obedient to that, and to do it for God's glory, not mine. (3) Share what I've learned along the way with other folks who live with chronic pain and point you to resources I have found out about.
(A shout out that as of August 2024 my oncologist has officially declared that I am "No Evidence of Disease" with regard to my breast cancer, the closest she will get to saying it's in remission - I'll take it!)
Feel free to reach out to me directly at Judith.Foy@lmu.edu or JudyFoy2023@gmail.com
Speaking Engagements
I am available to speak virtually and in person at select locations in Southern California and north-west Montana on the following topics:
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The Spirituality of Pain and Suffering
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When Your Child Has Died: Growing Through the Agony
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An Introduction to The Neuroscience of Chronic Pain
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Children’s Spirituality and Their Response to Death
Pain Coping Education
I am a trained facilitator of the American Chronic Pain Association (ACPA) and facilitate no-charge support groups that meet monthly/bi-monthly. These meetings are held virtually and in person at select locations in Southern California and northwest Montana. In all ACPA support groups, facilitators have chronic pain themselves. The groups address the 10 steps “From Patient to Person” as well as topics selected by the group. Email me at Judith.Foy@lmu.edu for more information and to register for the free one-hour meetings. For more information and other providers on the ACPA see https://www.acpanow.com
I am also certified through Stanford University to teach Empowered Relief, a trade-marked pain management program developed by a Stanford pain psychologist. Based on strong scientific evidence from nationally funded research in the U.S., Canada, and Denmark, the single 2-hour class is held virtually. Email me at Judith.Foy@lmu.edu for information and to register. Now delivered in 22 countries and 7 languages, Empowered Relief is offered as standard care for pain in multiple U.S. healthcare organizations, including Cleveland Clinic Spine Surgery and Cleveland Clinic Comprehensive Neurological Institute (led by Dr. Sara Davin), Lehigh Valley Health Network, Allegheny Health Network, Veterans Affairs Healthcare (Phoenix), and the Canadian VA.
Book: When Pain Persists (by Judy Foy, coming soon)